Is it worth the risk. I hope the answer is no.

Well I Just turned 25 on the 19Th and I've been reflecting on my life, mistakes I've made,Good choices I've made,people I love, etc...I already think about my mom allot, but even more so now. I been thinking about how one single choice can change your life and peoples lives around you forever.
Twenty five years ago my mother gave birth to me. I'm sure she was excited and had so many hopes and dreams. Hopes and dreams that she would have wanted to share with her children. I'm sure she thought about what kind of mother she would have wanted to be. Having that mother daughter relationship. Watching us grow, helping us with those hard decisions everyone has to make in life, Dating, seeing us get married and have children(I know I have thought about these things with my children). Unlike most women I know she was always so excited to become a Grandma. She could have been such a great one. I imagine her having sleep overs with her grandchildren, making popcorn, watching movies, coming over to help with last minute school projects just like she did with me and helping me make creative Halloween costumes for my kids.She would have loved it and my kids would have loved her. All these things could have been if she wouldn't have made that one choice or if she would a have made the choice to get help once things got out of control.
I'm not sure when the decision was made. Before or after I was born. I guess it doesn't really matter. But she made the decision to take that first drink. I'm sure when she did, she had no idea how it would change her and her children's lives forever. I believe that if she was able to look into the future that choice would have turned out to be a different one. I'm not sure how long it took, but I'm sure it was shortly after. My mother became a alcoholic and headed down a path she never would have wanted. She lost everything her home, her faith, hope, her children, grandchildren, and finally her life.
I know some people don't agree with my decision to allowed limited contact between her and my kids. But what they don't understand is that I promised myself my kids would have a different childhood then mine. They wouldn't have to watch someone they love destroy there life. They may think that a child wouldn't understand or recognize these things going on around them. But no matter how hard you try to hide them. They do! It's my job as mother to protect them no matter what and I had to protect them from her. I wish so bad that things could have been different. That she would have taken one of those many opportunities she had offered to her to get help but she didn't. I love my mom and always had hope that someday she would get help and we could have that life together. That mother daughter relationship.The day she died took away that hope.
I just hope that something positive can come from her death. That someone can look at her life, her story and recognize that they don't want to take the chance to have that be there story. That alcohol, drugs, Prescription drugs or what ever demons that's creeping into there life. Just isn't worth it. I know that everyone who drinks doesn't become my mother, an alcoholic. But if there is even a small chance which there always is. Is it worth the risk. I hope the answer is no.